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President Obama to Emphasize Good Looks In Re-election Campaign

Male supermodel Derek Zoolander was brought in as an advisor for the new direction of the Obama Campaign. WASHINGTON — A White House insider has revealed that President Obama’s re-election campaign...

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Bachman Goes on Tirade After Hearing Obama Wish Joe Lieberman “Happy New Year”

Michele Bachmann assumed that the "holiday with the horns and fruit" was for Jews to commemorate having horns of their own. WASHINGTON — Tea Party leader Michele Bachmann held a press conference last...

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George Bush Removes Sword From Stone, Crowned King of England

When asked about how he managed to lift the sword, Bush stated that he merely gave it the old college try. LONDON –Former United States President George Walker Bush was crowned King of England last...

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Gadaffi to American Media: “Yes, I’m Still Alive”

A freeze frame from Gaddafi's video shows an image of the Libyan leader, clearly depressed, with his bodyguards dancing at the side. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, LIBYA -Last night, Muammar Gadaffi uploaded a...

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Obama Fends Off “Occupy” Zombies from White House

The White House was bombarded by masses of the "Living Dead 1%." WASHINGTON — Weekly White House Walking Dead staff viewings came in handy last night after a horde of “Occupy” zombies invaded the White...

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Frustrated College Students Create Own Political Party to “Rage!”

The GWU Rage! Party launches tonight, and by Monday, will receive official commendation as a recognized political party for the 2012 Presidential election. WASHINGTON—A group of university students...

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Inspired by Greeks and Italians, French Demand Sarkozy’s Impeachment

In light of the recent resignations in Greece and Italy, the French people are desperately searching for a reason to have their President impeached. PARIS—French demonstrators started their own...

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Obama’s Fantasy Football Team Deemed Worst in League

The President is allegedly seeking an extensive trade deal with George Bush Sr., after he "mistakenly" chose not to pick Tom Brady in the initial draft. WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama suffered a...

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Microsoft: Fallen Drone Is the New Xbox Console Prototype

This device, thought to be the most advanced spy craft in U.S. service, is alternatively the most unique gaming console ever produced in human history. SEATTLE — After days of wondering about the...

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New Year’s 2012 Cancelled in Plan to Stop World Ending

A poll taken said that 95% of the American people do not care about the year change as long as The Dark Knight Rises comes out on July of whatever the coming year turns out to be. By J. Everett Ledeman...

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Hawaiian Caucus Established for Republican Contenders

By J. Everett Ledeman HONOLULU — In a bid to give “The Aloha State” more legitimacy, Hawaiian governor Neil Abercrombie announced that Hawaii will now host its own political caucus for the Republican...

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Republican Voters Demand “Just Give Romney the Nomination Already”

By J. Everett Ledeman MIDDLE AMERICA – A group of angry Republicans announced yesterday that they are getting bored of the race for a Republican presidential candidate in the 2012 election, and that...

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New Poll Shows Democrats Favor “Clinton-Obama 2012″ Ticket – with Obama as V.P.

The recall on the Clinton-Obama 2012 stickers will proven difficult, with many purchasers infuriated that the "Dream Team" will not become a reality. By J. Everett Ledeman WASHINGTON — William J....

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In Rosh Hashanah Spirit, Obama Serves Apples, Honey at White House

After the White House's positive reaction to Rosh Hashanah, Rabbis around the world have decided to not tell Obama about Yom Kippur. By J. E. Ledeman WASHINGTON — President Obama has decided keep the...

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Romney, Seeking Shelter from Media Fallout, Buys Small Private Island in...

Romney, pictured on a wave runner with Ann, said he often lets his wife drive on vacation "because she's not allowed to be behind the wheel during the workweek." By J. Everett Ledeman UNKNOWN LOCATION...

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Frustrated Ann Romney, Michelle Obama Call for Joint Presidency

Despite sharing the presidency, the candidates are still not agreeing to share their toys with each other. By J. Everett Ledeman WASHINGTON — Ann Romney and Michelle Obama came to a monumental decision...

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Fistfights on Rise After Election Season Ends

Italian Parliament members have embraced the rising trend of fistfights, using jabs and left-hooks to foster bipartisan compromise for a national economic overhaul. By J. Everett Ledeman WASHINGTON –...

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